The Shadow!

It's been quite sometime now, since we said our goodbyes. Still I feel a presence lingering around. Shadows of the past, play a trick in my head. Like an illusion they appear and disappear. Then they stay in my head. Guess that's all that's left behind.

I see a strange semblance. Like science attributes the length of a shadow to the intensity of light, I attribute these shadows to the warmth of your memories that cloud my mind and heart. On some bright mornings, I wake up confident, alive and real. Sunshine creeps through the flimsy drapes and wakes me up with a smile as bright as her. On those days I am me. I wear my favorite sundress, put on my sandals, add just a li'l gloss to my lips and set out with a pen and the notebook.

The warm rays of the sun give me a light tan and a lot of happiness. 'Coz I am sitting by the old oak tree, writing. On those days you crowd my thoughts and capture my mind. The memories of the sunny days we spent at the cafe lurk. The coffee.... my notepad ... your scribbles and the laughter. They all come back.

But as the day turns to nigh, when all I have are the stars for company, you silently walk out of my mind. What remains are just dark shadows. Worrying me, scaring me. Leaving me pleading for you to be by my side.

I ask myself on night's like those, if you stay up on dark nights wishing I were there. In a foreign land, where everyone feels like a stranger, do you sometimes call out my name, just to feel safer, calmer. Does it hurt when you revisit the shoebox, that encases the memories we created. Do you wish you'd give it all up, just so you could come back, to me?

If I set out on nights like those, that shadow continues to walk along with me. When dark clouds cover the moon, the shadow disappears. All I see is a reflection of my being in the lake. I wonder if your presence in my life was like that. When darkness surrounded me, you decided to leave.

Those are the nights, when I let your memories be the ray of light, that brings back the shadow.
Those are the nights, when I am sure, I want you to be more than a shadow.
I want you to be my soul...


-Inspired by Nicholas Sparks novel "Dear John"