Have you ever felt like this ????

Have you ever felt this way ???

You are in a situation where everything is going great ... You feel you are this is the right time and the right place ... everything about this feels right .. yet there's just one thing that can separate you from this thing you are going after ...

And that one thing doesn't have to be something big ... just something that you know would make a difference ... then you think .. maybe the impact won't be so bad .. it will surpass .. but that fear still lingers. If it's impact is bad then who would be responsible for it? and who would make sure that life, feelings, emotions, routines, relationships and everything else would still remain the same ....

That's what so many people think about when they are about to say those words

"I think this is Love... " ....

20 questions

I wonder how you do it. Every single day of the year.

Unlock the door to your house and make a quiet entry into the home you call your own ...

How do you walk into an apartment where there isn't someone to smile as you walk in. Or give you a bear hug and ask you what took you so long to get back, not coz she wanted to nag you but just coz she missed you while you where away.

How do you live that moment ??? When your favorite love song plays on the radio in the backdrop of a moonlit night and you see no one whose hand you can hold and dance in the hall. No words said, no expressions, just you and her. The music and the moment.

How do you share your laughter? When you think of some silly event that happened in the course of the day, that you felt was incredibly funny.

How do you hide a tear when you long for her? But see no one around.

And when a nightmare awakes you, disturbs you and gets you worked up, don't you look for someone you could roll across to give a warm hug and sleep peacefully?

Who pampers you when you don't find the strength to get out of bed? Weary and ill. Who wakes up in the middle of the night to help you with a warm cup of coffee?

Whom do you play your best-played tunes on the guitar to? Do you wish someone would sing along when you do and chuckle when you started to sing and deliberately sang the wrong words ?

Do you hear laughter when you sing out loud in the shower, soaping yourself and suddenly realize that the tap has run dry?

Does someone yell at you when you come back home late from a party and not so sober?

Who completes those lines, of the beautiful words that you pen down when you get a writers block?

Who sits next to you, by the candle light, when there's a power-cut on a boring evening?

Do you wish that the time stood still when someone would kiss you goodnight?

All those questions said and done,

I think I have a final one ...

HOW do You Live ALONE???????

Currently Reading

Reading books was never really a hobby until my teenage years when I started travelling from Home to college. Thankfully, being a lonely traveler (and by that I mean travelling minus a big group of 'train' friends) meant I would have a book to give me company when college friends weren't around.

These days I get completely submerged into the book .. often not realizing that I've reached home ...

So here's a Lil section where I recommend books and review those that I read ....

Currently reading:

The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks

I'm not much of a romance novel reader .. but since I loved the story of The Notebook ... I couldn't help picking up it's sequel ... Have completed just 50 pages .. and its been great ... Will write a complete review later.....

1st March 2010 .... 12.18 am .........

Considering that I had nothing else to do this weekend .. I finished reading the book ... yes .. I did stay up until 2 am wanting to read it thru the night .. but my eyes wouldn't permit me .. anyways I completed it today ... as I read the last few words I wished that there was more ..

Although I consider myself a die-hard romantic, I don't read romance novels ... but Nicholas Sparks books are something that makes my idea of romance come alive thru his characters. This story is all about how love sometimes takes second place in our busy lives. The characters, especially the main protagonist and his wife, have been crafted beautifully. Won't tell you the story, but am gonna leave behind an excerpt of the book .. some lines that moved me .... (I have the book ... so if you know me , borrow it .. will be glad to share it with you ... :)

Excerpts :

"And that's what the most wonderful feeling in the world. How many people are ever given that chance? To have someone you love fall in love with you over and over again."

"It's funny, but have you ever noticed that the more special something is, the more people take it for granted? It's like they think it won't ever change"

Me, Mua and Myself :)

" Hi! I'm ******."

"And you .... " I'm Di-ana" ...

"Didn't get that..."

I said " DI(e) ANA" ...

"Oh you mean " DI(h)Na" ....

" Yes .. but ... well it's DIANA".

" O'rite .. got that ... Di-Nah"

I just smiled back at Him politely ... and in my head I cribbed one more time about why the pro-nun-ciation of my name is sooooooooooo difficult :)

"So tell me more about you .. " I pondered on whether this conversation was worth continuing ... since I did have some time to kill I said what the heck ..

I told him about my professional life (which is just about 75% of my life :P ) .... Then came around some questions about personal life ... Careful not to give him too much detail, I mentioned a few things about home, hobbies, music (don't consider music a hobby .. it's more like the other 25% of my life or maybe more) ... And summed up my entire life in 5 lines .... All he did was shook his head (probably not following half of what I said considering the pace of my speech)

Post the conversation, (as usual) I drifted back to my thoughts ... And as I walked down the calm lanes of the town-side(what we Mumbaikars like calling this part of town) towards the train station with a lil slow rock music for company ... I wondered if my identity had summed up to just an employee of a creative house ... where was the girl who was sooooo much more than that??

Had wee(a)kdays of work taken away her ink pot of thoughts that she was put into beautiful words on paper....

Had late nights and early (not very early) mornings deflected her heart from discovering a new song that she hummed through the day ????

Had the routine life stopped her from capturing those special moments in celluloid (or in this case .. a memory card on the Digicam)

The goddess of Hunting had killed her instinct to live life to the fullest ...

So never mind this realization 1 and half month post the new year ... I decided to make a resolution ... to bring back the same Di-ana .. who likes to spread the cheer ... the music and festivities ...

even on an odd day at work ... :)

Knock Knock ....

So you are walking back towards me, while I've drifted away.

You come knocking on my door again. I tell you I ain't sure I can let you back into my life...

For years I wished you would be here and you would make a lil appearance and then disappear. Like dew drops on a maple leaf on a summer morning.

So many nights as I stayed up ... and wished for you to be by my side. All I felt was a tear on my pillow ...

I wanna let you in now, but I realize you come with your good and bad.

You promise me a lifetime of smiles, hiding away your cruel intentions.

So I ponder whether I should open the door. For you to enter my heart.

In a HeartBeat

A thousand warm sunrises,

And a million moonlit nights.

A few pleasant surprises

And a few betraying lies.

A sonnet and a song that makes you smile,

And a book of secrets that you could read for a while.

A dream that we'd seen together,

and a nightmare that we'd buried in those dark moments forever...

A childhood memory and a teenage crush,

A little teddy bear and a photograph that made you blush...

A magic trick and a finger-licking dish recipe,
A pack of cards and an old apron that was once burnt by me ...

a few guilt feelings, a few prayers,

and a lifetime of love ....

All that and everything you pack away ..... As you set out out on a new journey called Life

You walk away with a bag full of these .... I treasure the shadows ..... in a heartbeat

- Dedicated to 2 special women in my life :)

For a special Day

In this selfish world, I live so unselfishly,

But for just one day I wanna do things differently ...

For this one day, I wanna live for me ...

For one day I wanna see you make someone smile for me,

For one day, whisper sweet nothings in my ear endlessly

For one day, cancel those plans and stay by side, next to me

For this day, look at the sunset through my eyes,

Or say I am the most beautiful girl and make it sound less like lies

For this day, make me forget my miseries and close my eyes,

And let me dream again of a crimson world ..

For this day, this special day,

Make my existence, my life, worthwhile ...

The Autumn Princess

As he walked down the concrete path that was covered with shredded leaves and dried flowers, he thought of a similar day when he first saw her.

It was a November evening, when autumn was turning into winter and the skies looked like the cheeks of a teenage girl blushing red. He saw her from a distance. The white cotton dress that she was wearing had little white lilies, making it look like it was made for this day.

He stood by the gate of the Church, almost hesitating to step in … just wanting her to walk by holding that bouquet of long-stem roses. He wished he had his sketchbook in which he usually attempted to replicate those miracles of nature. He noticed that she was walking towards the graveyard. She stepped in there with silent steps. In his eagerness, he followed her, only making sure he wasn’t close enough for her to know of his presence. She stopped by a white gravestone. The statue of an archangel wiping away a tear drop stood there. She gently knelt down placing the bouquet of roses like she were placing them in the lap of the one that lay there. As she began to pray, tears streamed down her eyes. As he watched her standing at a distance, his heart cried out too …. But why? He wondered. It was only moments ago that he had seen her …

Why was his soul feeling the sorrow that a stranger was undergoing? He stood at a distance, behind a gravestone, as she wiped her tears, got up and started to walk out …

He came back the next day; hoping he’d see her again, praying that he could find the courage to go up to her and just saying a few words that would soothe her bleeding her heart. But he just stood there that morning and for several mornings thereafter…

He sat by the Oak tree in the Church, at the entrance of the graveyard and painted a portrait as if it was the single most important goal of his life. As days passed by, she noticed him. So one December morning, walked up to him and asked him why he was here for so many mornings. He tried so hard to hide away his masterpiece. But all in vain. She smiled as she saw it. For the first time, in all the time that he knew her had he seen the dimples on her cheek that looked like dew-drops on rose petals at dawn.

She said, “The man I am here to see everyday, my Papa, also once painted a similar portrait of mine …” So conversations began and closeness grew. Before he could realize he was falling deeply in love with her …

His newest friend … his confidant … BLOSSOM …

Confessions of a heart

Today I heard you speak to her again. And I knew then, that I was just kidding myself ......

'Coz you are just someone who is being there for me ...

You are not gonna be there forever .....

Soon it will be time for you to leave .....

So I give myself a million reasons to hate you .....

A thousand reasons to create distances that sets us apart ...

A hundred reasons to step away ...

But then I just walk back into your life

You poke fun at a friend I care for .....

You accuse me of crimes I never committed ...

You say things I wish I'd never heard ...

Yet I walk back into your life ....

And when you say you are going away ...

I make a prayer that you stay ...

Then I think ... You've given me a million reasons to hate you ...

AND maybe you give me one reason not to ....................................................