I'll Never be Her

You don't see her in me,
That's what you said yesterday,
On that late rainy evening,
As we sat at that little coffee shop by the bay.

In your thoughts she exists, she lives.
She has the smile that lights up your atmosphere.
Her words like a serenade, so engaging that you want to give her a listening ear.

And when you dance, you feel her arms around you,
You want that for eternity that ballad to continue.

You tell me she is an illusion, stolen from your reality.
She is your creation, an epitome of your creativity.

She's someone you are yet to meet.
You say you've never seen her,
It's like you have the glass slipper,
But it's taking time to find its rightful owner.

And I think to myself, I could be all that and so much more,
I bleed.
I'm knocking so hard on that closed door.

It's been some time now.
I think i should let go.
Thought I'd take my chances,
But there was something I didn't know.

So yesterday when those words you had said.
Your words have compelled me to make that bitter-sweet surrender.
I'll continue to be myself.
To you somehow, I'll never be her ...

The Surreal Silence

I wonder if I'm annoyed with you or mad at myself. Your silence and your absence has transgressed into my confusion and dilemma. And now I'm questioning the thoughts in my head and quizing the feelings in your heart.


Sometimes I vent out my angst. At other times, I shut the world out. In my heart, a little desire cries out loud, to deafen me. She screams, she yells. And when she has lost all strength, she moves to the corner of my heart and weeps silently. She quietly curses the hope that was once awakened, when you had first walked in.


She tries hard to convince herself that all that happened was just an illusion. Surreal.. too good to be true. And hope feels bad for her, so it flickers in her heart. For a moment, she feels the nostalgia. Then, its gone.

Fighting so many emotions isn't all that easy. All I want is for you to break that silence. Maybe the assurance of your words would bring that peace. Maybe you convincing me that those were just hallucinations would help. Then again, I question myself. Do I really want hope to be murdered by the brutallity of his words?

Made for each other

He was like the rainbow. The bold streaks of colors that made her grey skies look picturesque after a rainy day.

She was like a wicked asthma attack. Took his breath away, left him gasping. No medication could cure this ailment.

He was like the song that played on the radio early in the morning. Once it got into her head, it would just not get out. She'd unknowingly hum it as she walked down the road, only to realize that someone walking past her would give her a look and she'd smile sheepishly in embarrassment.

She was like the old t-shirt, that he would just not want to let go off. It made him so comfortable that he would wish he could keep it with him, no matter how old it got.

On some days, she was like a pup on a cold winter night. She would try to reach out to the window, yelping for a little warmth. He would put out a bowl of warm milk. Yet not take her inside his home so she could sleep by the fireplace.

On other days, she was like a fish in the glass bowl. Being present in the same space wasn't much of help to him.

But at the end of it all, they would just sit across the table knowing what's going on it each others mind. Their gestures would do all the talking. So it seemed only logical for this to happen.

They both decided to confess their love for each other on the same day, at the same time, at the same moment.

They were truly 'Made for each other'.

Shall we Dance?

It was the same place, but the moment was different. The time had passed. But it lingered in her head. And as she was sitting at the table, her thoughts transported her to that evening, when everything seemed so surreal.

He walked towards her, not sure if he was doing the right thing. After all this time, he still felt she was like a book of mysteries, every chapter ending with a suspense and the new ones begining with a discovery... But somewhere deep down inside he felt that if he didn't do it today, he would never get the chance to again. She saw him coming towards him and suddenly she was alert. Her pretense of conversing with her friend sitting with her at the same table, just wouldn't work. He knew she had become aware of his intentions. So when he got to the table he held his hand to her and said "Shall we Dance?"

She gracefully took his hand and as the walked towards the dance floor she felt like she was being glided into another world where it would be just the two of them and no one else.
One ballad after the other, they danced. He held her as though she would disappear if he let go. She held on to him like her life depended on it.

With a coy smile on his face, he whispered sweet nothings in her ear, praising her dancing skills, complimenting the look she had choosen for this evening. And then he said those magical words, that made her evening, her day and her life worthwhile. He said he wanted to make this companionship something he can keep for a lifetime.

Today, as she watched that teenage gal dancing with a boy, she recalled that beautiful evening when she had her last dance with him... only wishing that it wasn't ...


- Inspired from "Nights in Rodanthe" by Nicholas Sparks

Dedicated to that smile

This is what I dedicate. Dedicate to that smile.
That was not just a gesture. That stayed on, on your face for a while.

That I first saw when I noticed you watching me from the corner of your eye.
That I almost immediately fell for when you flashed at me when that day we said goodbye.

It was about a bright sunny noon, when the April sun was cruel.
We sat by each others side like strangers and yet like friends breaking every rule.
And in sometime, we just knew. That the journey would take us askew.

It was because of that innocent smile. That was on my lips for a while.

And that evening, we said goodbye, we walked away towards the road would lead us from here.
But then you turned around and so did I. Our gazes met and there came on that sheepish smile.

That smile on your face that said this was meant to be. A new chapter in my book of destiny.

And now when we sit by the sea and watch the moon rise. I let you hold my hand and feel your smile.
I carved that moment in my head, for this day to write a few beautiful words that I would dedicate to it.

The Healing

Last night I dreamt again. I was in a field of sunflowers. The early morning rays of sun were kissing its cheeks. As I walked through the field I felt them smiling at me, letting me feel its color and breathe in its beauty. Like a little girl, I felt them embrace me. And I wished, I could sit there until time turned around.

In a flash I felt like I had travelled miles. When the fog disappeared, I found myself waking up in at a cottage at the top of a hill. And as I rolled away the quilt, my feet touched the cold wood beneath tickling me, forcing me to bring on a smile. I opened the window to a picturesque view of a snow-capped peak, the greens and wildflowers creating a contrast of colors that a famous painter must have once captured into his masterpiece.

And in a flash, I was transported to another scene. This time I was sitting by the sea-shore. Where I sat on the sand, the moonlight and a million stars shone down on me. In the warmth of the sand, the waves would come to my feet and gently tease me, luring me to play with it. The horizon seemed to be glistening in the moonlight, radiating a spirit that I captured in a poetry.

But then I woke up to reality. In my night's dream, I let nature heal the wounds that were soaring. Taking all the hurt away.

I realized this is what I wanted for a long time. I'd come back from summer holiday of my dreams.

Guardian Angel

She was surprised. In fact, shocked. It was happening to her one more time ...

For a long time she felt that every door of opportunity was closing on her. But suddenly a wave of positivity was surging in. For now, when one door shut her out, many others would open.

She considered it to be a mere coincidence first, but couldn't absorb that explanation. The thought of Lady Luck smiling on her also crossed her mind, but since she didn't believe in Luck, that explanation too was discarded. So what was it then. "Was it Karma?" ... she asked her inner self ...

Her life was being driven in a new direction. She slept with a smile on her face, after having thought about the days happenings and counted her blessings. She felt like those untrodden paths were easier to walk on. Even if she were to be walking alone on the journey.

The fear of the obstacles coming in the way and separating her from her destiny would always be there. But those fears that crippled her dreams seemed to disappear. That's when she realized that it was her Guardian Angels who were making their presence felt in her life. They were the ones who were holding her hand and dissolving those fears like salt in clear water. Letting it become one with her confidence, her aspirations and her life ...

"I walked all alone with the fear of not making it to my destiny,

But now you've made your way into my life,

Sometimes like a mother, who would silence the storm and wipe those tears....

Sometimes like a father, who'd smile and let me hold his little finger and continue walking...

Sometimes like a sibling, whose presence would be enough to convince me that I have the ability to make my way, even if I was alone ...

Sometimes like a friend, who'd would call me crazy ... to worry about where I was heading .. more often demeaning their own being, to boost my spirits ...

For if it wasn't for all these, I'd be in Paradise. Wondering why I didn't do more with the blessing called life ...

You were there with me all along,

You were my Guardian Angel in Disguise ..."

Have you ever felt like this ????

Have you ever felt this way ???

You are in a situation where everything is going great ... You feel you are this is the right time and the right place ... everything about this feels right .. yet there's just one thing that can separate you from this thing you are going after ...

And that one thing doesn't have to be something big ... just something that you know would make a difference ... then you think .. maybe the impact won't be so bad .. it will surpass .. but that fear still lingers. If it's impact is bad then who would be responsible for it? and who would make sure that life, feelings, emotions, routines, relationships and everything else would still remain the same ....

That's what so many people think about when they are about to say those words

"I think this is Love... " ....

20 questions

I wonder how you do it. Every single day of the year.

Unlock the door to your house and make a quiet entry into the home you call your own ...

How do you walk into an apartment where there isn't someone to smile as you walk in. Or give you a bear hug and ask you what took you so long to get back, not coz she wanted to nag you but just coz she missed you while you where away.

How do you live that moment ??? When your favorite love song plays on the radio in the backdrop of a moonlit night and you see no one whose hand you can hold and dance in the hall. No words said, no expressions, just you and her. The music and the moment.

How do you share your laughter? When you think of some silly event that happened in the course of the day, that you felt was incredibly funny.

How do you hide a tear when you long for her? But see no one around.

And when a nightmare awakes you, disturbs you and gets you worked up, don't you look for someone you could roll across to give a warm hug and sleep peacefully?

Who pampers you when you don't find the strength to get out of bed? Weary and ill. Who wakes up in the middle of the night to help you with a warm cup of coffee?

Whom do you play your best-played tunes on the guitar to? Do you wish someone would sing along when you do and chuckle when you started to sing and deliberately sang the wrong words ?

Do you hear laughter when you sing out loud in the shower, soaping yourself and suddenly realize that the tap has run dry?

Does someone yell at you when you come back home late from a party and not so sober?

Who completes those lines, of the beautiful words that you pen down when you get a writers block?

Who sits next to you, by the candle light, when there's a power-cut on a boring evening?

Do you wish that the time stood still when someone would kiss you goodnight?

All those questions said and done,

I think I have a final one ...

HOW do You Live ALONE???????